Dating, Love & Marriage
Start Conversation with Attractive Stranger, Overcoming Dating Fears,...
Title: Overcoming Your Dating Fears in Two Simple Steps
Author: Neal Talbot
Author: Neal Talbot
Article:
Fear has infected the dating world. It has poisoned the minds of millions of
single men and women. It has them walking scared. Afraid to approach. Afraid
to interact. Afraid to take action.
The fear of rejection is slowly overwhelming the dating world. Singles have
become so terrified of someone not returning their interest, they are no longer
interacting with other singles.
For many singles, the fear of rejection is so great, they convince themselves it's
not worth it. That the potential damage to their ego is too severe. That the risks
of being vulnerable outweigh any and all positives.
So they don't approach. They don't interact. They tell themselves an
unsuccessful interaction will have everyone laughing at them. Or make them
look like a loser. Or lessen their value as a human being.
These beliefs couldn't be any further from the truth. Their fear couldn't be any
more misguided. The only thing singles should fear is arriving home and
kicking themselves for not approaching
someone they were interested in.
Meeting new singles isn't risky. It's actually a no-lose proposition. If the
interaction goes well, you might land a date with an attractive single. If not, you're
no worse off than if you never approached.
No one is going to laugh at you if your interaction doesn't go well. It won't make
you look like a loser. The only thing interacting with other attractive singles will
do is make you look cool, calm and confident.
Living in fear is no way to live. And it's no way to date. If you wait for attractive
singles to fall effortlessly into your lap, you might be waiting for some time. You
might have to wait for years.
In the meantime, you'll become too reliant on your social circle. You won't date
much. And this lack of dating activity will put too much pressure on you when you
finally do land a date.
It's time singles put the fear of rejection behind them. It's time they started
toughening up their fragile egos. It's time they start to flex their social muscles.
It's time they fought their fear with facts.
To do this, singles have to drill three important facts into their brain: You have
nothing to lose by approaching other singles. If someone isn't interested in an
interaction, it doesn't say anything about who you are. And the only thing you
should fear is going home and kicking yourself for not
approaching someone who interested you.
Singles have to realize the fear of rejection has no place in dating and it can be
overcome in two simple steps.
Overcoming the fear of rejection can be done in two steps. The first step is
improving your attraction and interaction skills. This involves improving your
body language, approach and
conversation skills. The second step is getting some experience interacting with
new singles.
Improving personal attraction and interaction skills provides singles with a huge
boost of self-confidence. If they feel they know how to strut their stuff and
impress anyone, they are going
to dramatically reduce their approach anxiety. Which is key because approach
anxiety is the most damaging dating aspect of the fear of rejection.
Without confidence in your attraction and interaction skills - approach anxiety can
be devastating. Just the thought of approaching someone new - especially if
they're attractive - is daunting. Without that personal confidence, approach
anxiety can overcome singles.
They begin to sweat. Nervous butterflies fill their stomach. Their hands start
shaking. Every worst case scenario runs through their mind. Fear suddenly
plants their feet firmly to the floor. And they give up before they've even begun.
But singles that have confidence in their attraction and interaction skills have far
less approach anxiety. They have an icebreaker in mind before they approach,
they approach from the correct angles, they know how to immediately win
someone over, and they know how to have amazing conversations.
These skills lessen one's anxiety with every step. Every approach. Every
conversation. Knowledge is power, and it's no different in the dating world. If you
know what you're doing, and have faith in your abilities, you dramatically lower
your anxiety.
The second step to dismantling the fear of rejection is getting some experience
interacting with new singles. Approach and interact with everyone around you,
even if it's just for a couple of minutes. Search out strangers - especially
attractive strangers - and engage them in conversation.
These interactions do two things. The first is, they allow singles to hone and
perfect their attraction and interaction skills. The second is, it teaches singles
that most of the time they approach someone, they are going to be welcomed -
not rejected. And once they realize this, they replace their fear of rejection with
the excitement of meeting someone new. Most singles are shocked that the
majority of their interactions are successful. That they are welcomed into even
large groups. But
it's no surprise. It's exciting to meet new people. To talk about new things.
Especially with someone confident enough to approach strangers.
After as little as a dozen successful interactions, singles often find their fear of
rejection is nearly gone. Their confidence is sky-high and experience hardened.
They no longer care if someone isn't interested in them, because they know
there are lots more singles who are.
People who've take these two simple steps and overcome their fear, often want
to kick themselves for being scared and missing opportunities in the past. But
they're usually too busy meeting and mingling with new people.
So don't let the fear of rejection hold you back. Fight it with fact. Fight it with
self-confidence. Fight it with experience.
It's time you throw caution to the wind and start fearlessly interacting with other
attractive singles. It's time you start living the life you deserve. A life full of
amazing dates and unforgettable interactions.
For more great dating advice go to
http://www.allstardatingtips.com
About the author:
Neal Talbot is the President of Attraction All-Stars Enterprises Ltd. The former
reporter - turned dating coach - created AllStarDatingTips.com to help improve
the dating lives of millions of single men and women all around the globe.
Talbot is also the author of the best-selling e-book All-Star Dating & Attraction.
Fear has infected the dating world. It has poisoned the minds of millions of
single men and women. It has them walking scared. Afraid to approach. Afraid
to interact. Afraid to take action.
The fear of rejection is slowly overwhelming the dating world. Singles have
become so terrified of someone not returning their interest, they are no longer
interacting with other singles.
For many singles, the fear of rejection is so great, they convince themselves it's
not worth it. That the potential damage to their ego is too severe. That the risks
of being vulnerable outweigh any and all positives.
So they don't approach. They don't interact. They tell themselves an
unsuccessful interaction will have everyone laughing at them. Or make them
look like a loser. Or lessen their value as a human being.
These beliefs couldn't be any further from the truth. Their fear couldn't be any
more misguided. The only thing singles should fear is arriving home and
kicking themselves for not approaching
someone they were interested in.
Meeting new singles isn't risky. It's actually a no-lose proposition. If the
interaction goes well, you might land a date with an attractive single. If not, you're
no worse off than if you never approached.
No one is going to laugh at you if your interaction doesn't go well. It won't make
you look like a loser. The only thing interacting with other attractive singles will
do is make you look cool, calm and confident.
Living in fear is no way to live. And it's no way to date. If you wait for attractive
singles to fall effortlessly into your lap, you might be waiting for some time. You
might have to wait for years.
In the meantime, you'll become too reliant on your social circle. You won't date
much. And this lack of dating activity will put too much pressure on you when you
finally do land a date.
It's time singles put the fear of rejection behind them. It's time they started
toughening up their fragile egos. It's time they start to flex their social muscles.
It's time they fought their fear with facts.
To do this, singles have to drill three important facts into their brain: You have
nothing to lose by approaching other singles. If someone isn't interested in an
interaction, it doesn't say anything about who you are. And the only thing you
should fear is going home and kicking yourself for not
approaching someone who interested you.
Singles have to realize the fear of rejection has no place in dating and it can be
overcome in two simple steps.
Overcoming the fear of rejection can be done in two steps. The first step is
improving your attraction and interaction skills. This involves improving your
body language, approach and
conversation skills. The second step is getting some experience interacting with
new singles.
Improving personal attraction and interaction skills provides singles with a huge
boost of self-confidence. If they feel they know how to strut their stuff and
impress anyone, they are going
to dramatically reduce their approach anxiety. Which is key because approach
anxiety is the most damaging dating aspect of the fear of rejection.
Without confidence in your attraction and interaction skills - approach anxiety can
be devastating. Just the thought of approaching someone new - especially if
they're attractive - is daunting. Without that personal confidence, approach
anxiety can overcome singles.
They begin to sweat. Nervous butterflies fill their stomach. Their hands start
shaking. Every worst case scenario runs through their mind. Fear suddenly
plants their feet firmly to the floor. And they give up before they've even begun.
But singles that have confidence in their attraction and interaction skills have far
less approach anxiety. They have an icebreaker in mind before they approach,
they approach from the correct angles, they know how to immediately win
someone over, and they know how to have amazing conversations.
These skills lessen one's anxiety with every step. Every approach. Every
conversation. Knowledge is power, and it's no different in the dating world. If you
know what you're doing, and have faith in your abilities, you dramatically lower
your anxiety.
The second step to dismantling the fear of rejection is getting some experience
interacting with new singles. Approach and interact with everyone around you,
even if it's just for a couple of minutes. Search out strangers - especially
attractive strangers - and engage them in conversation.
These interactions do two things. The first is, they allow singles to hone and
perfect their attraction and interaction skills. The second is, it teaches singles
that most of the time they approach someone, they are going to be welcomed -
not rejected. And once they realize this, they replace their fear of rejection with
the excitement of meeting someone new. Most singles are shocked that the
majority of their interactions are successful. That they are welcomed into even
large groups. But
it's no surprise. It's exciting to meet new people. To talk about new things.
Especially with someone confident enough to approach strangers.
After as little as a dozen successful interactions, singles often find their fear of
rejection is nearly gone. Their confidence is sky-high and experience hardened.
They no longer care if someone isn't interested in them, because they know
there are lots more singles who are.
People who've take these two simple steps and overcome their fear, often want
to kick themselves for being scared and missing opportunities in the past. But
they're usually too busy meeting and mingling with new people.
So don't let the fear of rejection hold you back. Fight it with fact. Fight it with
self-confidence. Fight it with experience.
It's time you throw caution to the wind and start fearlessly interacting with other
attractive singles. It's time you start living the life you deserve. A life full of
amazing dates and unforgettable interactions.
For more great dating advice go to
http://www.allstardatingtips.com
About the author:
Neal Talbot is the President of Attraction All-Stars Enterprises Ltd. The former
reporter - turned dating coach - created AllStarDatingTips.com to help improve
the dating lives of millions of single men and women all around the globe.
Talbot is also the author of the best-selling e-book All-Star Dating & Attraction.
 | |  | |  | |  | |  | |  |
How To Start A Conversation With An Attractive Stranger
Copyright (C) 2007 Elena Solomon, author of 12 Simple Rules
For many people, starting a conversation with a stranger is an intimidating task. But for
you, after reading this article, it will be a breeze.
The best beginning for the conversation is, "Hi".
(I am sure you can master that!)
The second step is to introduce yourself, "Hi, I am Jim."
(Not too tricky, is it?)
Then it goes depending on circumstances.
The three most popular and foolproof conversation-starters are:
- Make a comment about the surroundings;
- Enquire about something unusual in their appearance;
- Ask for a comment from a woman’s/man’s point of view.
Let’s talk about those conversation-starters in more detail.
1. Making a comment about the SURROUNDINGS.
This is the safest and universal conversation-starter. Wherever you are, something’s
always happening around you. There are people, or cars, or queues, or something else.
Even if there is nothing happening, you can make a comment about that! Use a bit of
humor in your comment and most of the time you will get a favorable answer.
For example:
- Hi, what a chilly/hot day today (on a hot day, say it’s chilly, on a chilly day, say it’s hot -- it’
s VERY funny). I see you are also shivering/sweating. By the way, my name is Jim. What
is your name?
- Hi, you know, you look very pretty with these awesome roses as the backdrop. By the
way, my name is Jim. What is your name?
- Hey, this queue doesn’t seem to be moving, does it? Since we are going to spend the
next few hours here together, I guess I should introduce myself: I am Jim. What is your
name?
2. Enquiring about something unusual in their appearance.
This requires some skill but after a while you will be able to pick up something in an
instant. It can be a tattoo, a piece of jewelry, a handbag, or even an unusual color. People
don’t buy things at random. They buy them and wear them because they LIKE them, or
because they MEAN something to them. They have some pleasant emotion attached to
it. If you mention this thing, you can tap into this pleasant emotion and they will consider
your advances more favorably.
For example:
- Hi! I could not help but noticed this interesting ring. It isn’t an engagement ring, is it? If it
is, I will have to end my life in a monastery. And by the way, my name is Jim.
- Hi, I was looking at your earrings; they are exactly what I was looking for, as a present
for my sister. Where did you get them? And by the way, my name is Jim.
- Hi, I could not help but noticed the book you are reading, “Men are from Mars, women
are from Venus”. So, what do you think about it? And by the way, my name is Jim.
3. Asking for a comment from a woman’s/man’s point of view.
This is my favorite!
For some mysterious reason, we just LOVE rendering our opinion as a woman/man.
This is such a successful conversation-starter; you can use it anywhere, on anyone.
Even 90-year-old grannies will be happy to answer your enquiries.
For example:
- Hi! I am Jim. My friend and I were talking about what women value the most in men they
date, and could not agree. Could you please help us out with a woman’s opinion?
- Hi, I am Jill. My friend and I were talking about what men value the most in women they
date, and could not agree. Could you please help us out with a man’s opinion?
- Etc, etc.
It doesn’t matter what you are asking about. The point is, we all understand that men and
women think differently and we appreciate a thoughtful stranger who makes an effort to
learn from the source.
That’s it!
You see, it’s not scary at all. Just go and try it - first on the people you don’t care about,
and then on the people you like. You will see that men and women alike generally
respond very positively to a friendly stranger.
Start with the service personnel at the shops and cafes. They are PAID to be nice to you.
Look them in the eyes and strike a conversation. You will see how easy it is.
Once you learn the skill of starting a conversation with strangers, your life is never going
to be the same. You will be able to feel at home wherever you go - simply because you
know how to talk to people you never met.
Try it.
It feels fantastic!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Elena Solomon is a dating coach.
Her latest book "12 Simple Rules" became #1 'Love & Romance' bestseller in the
leading ebook distribution service in just ONE WEEK after the release. It provides
extensive training into successful communication along with practical and fully usable
examples. Must read if you are single and seeking.
Get the UNFAIR ADVANTAGE in the battle of sexes!
http://www.12SimpleRules.com/
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
© Copyright 2007, 12 Simple Rules
Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | Contact | Affiliates
Copyright (C) 2007 Elena Solomon, author of 12 Simple Rules
For many people, starting a conversation with a stranger is an intimidating task. But for
you, after reading this article, it will be a breeze.
The best beginning for the conversation is, "Hi".
(I am sure you can master that!)
The second step is to introduce yourself, "Hi, I am Jim."
(Not too tricky, is it?)
Then it goes depending on circumstances.
The three most popular and foolproof conversation-starters are:
- Make a comment about the surroundings;
- Enquire about something unusual in their appearance;
- Ask for a comment from a woman’s/man’s point of view.
Let’s talk about those conversation-starters in more detail.
1. Making a comment about the SURROUNDINGS.
This is the safest and universal conversation-starter. Wherever you are, something’s
always happening around you. There are people, or cars, or queues, or something else.
Even if there is nothing happening, you can make a comment about that! Use a bit of
humor in your comment and most of the time you will get a favorable answer.
For example:
- Hi, what a chilly/hot day today (on a hot day, say it’s chilly, on a chilly day, say it’s hot -- it’
s VERY funny). I see you are also shivering/sweating. By the way, my name is Jim. What
is your name?
- Hi, you know, you look very pretty with these awesome roses as the backdrop. By the
way, my name is Jim. What is your name?
- Hey, this queue doesn’t seem to be moving, does it? Since we are going to spend the
next few hours here together, I guess I should introduce myself: I am Jim. What is your
name?
2. Enquiring about something unusual in their appearance.
This requires some skill but after a while you will be able to pick up something in an
instant. It can be a tattoo, a piece of jewelry, a handbag, or even an unusual color. People
don’t buy things at random. They buy them and wear them because they LIKE them, or
because they MEAN something to them. They have some pleasant emotion attached to
it. If you mention this thing, you can tap into this pleasant emotion and they will consider
your advances more favorably.
For example:
- Hi! I could not help but noticed this interesting ring. It isn’t an engagement ring, is it? If it
is, I will have to end my life in a monastery. And by the way, my name is Jim.
- Hi, I was looking at your earrings; they are exactly what I was looking for, as a present
for my sister. Where did you get them? And by the way, my name is Jim.
- Hi, I could not help but noticed the book you are reading, “Men are from Mars, women
are from Venus”. So, what do you think about it? And by the way, my name is Jim.
3. Asking for a comment from a woman’s/man’s point of view.
This is my favorite!
For some mysterious reason, we just LOVE rendering our opinion as a woman/man.
This is such a successful conversation-starter; you can use it anywhere, on anyone.
Even 90-year-old grannies will be happy to answer your enquiries.
For example:
- Hi! I am Jim. My friend and I were talking about what women value the most in men they
date, and could not agree. Could you please help us out with a woman’s opinion?
- Hi, I am Jill. My friend and I were talking about what men value the most in women they
date, and could not agree. Could you please help us out with a man’s opinion?
- Etc, etc.
It doesn’t matter what you are asking about. The point is, we all understand that men and
women think differently and we appreciate a thoughtful stranger who makes an effort to
learn from the source.
That’s it!
You see, it’s not scary at all. Just go and try it - first on the people you don’t care about,
and then on the people you like. You will see that men and women alike generally
respond very positively to a friendly stranger.
Start with the service personnel at the shops and cafes. They are PAID to be nice to you.
Look them in the eyes and strike a conversation. You will see how easy it is.
Once you learn the skill of starting a conversation with strangers, your life is never going
to be the same. You will be able to feel at home wherever you go - simply because you
know how to talk to people you never met.
Try it.
It feels fantastic!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Elena Solomon is a dating coach.
Her latest book "12 Simple Rules" became #1 'Love & Romance' bestseller in the
leading ebook distribution service in just ONE WEEK after the release. It provides
extensive training into successful communication along with practical and fully usable
examples. Must read if you are single and seeking.
Get the UNFAIR ADVANTAGE in the battle of sexes!
http://www.12SimpleRules.com/
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
© Copyright 2007, 12 Simple Rules
Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | Contact | Affiliates
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Title: 10 Qualities to Look for in a Long-term Motivated to Marry™ Partner
Author: Amy Schoen
Article:
Copyright (c) 2007 Heartmind Connection, LLC
Author: Amy Schoen
Article:
Copyright (c) 2007 Heartmind Connection, LLC
Do you know what kind of person would make you happy? What qualities would you want
someone you would want to marry have? As human beings, we all respond to certain
gestures and
behaviors positively. This dating advice for women and men is to describe which
qualities you need to have on your radar screen when you are searching for a partner
with whom you can have long term bliss. Keep in mind the following relationship issues
as you evaluate someone as a Motivated to Marry™ Partner.
1. Offers you genuine friendship
Everyone wants someone who can be their best friend through thick and thin. We want
someone with whom we can share our deepest thoughts as well as with whom we can
have fun with.
2. Kind and Compassionate
What kind of heart does he or she have? Does he take in stray animals or does she
volunteer to
help the sick? And how forgiving is his or her nature? Is she kind to you and empathize
with you when you've had a bad day?
3. Encouraging and Supportive
Our hope is that our partner becomes our greatest fan. Some dating tips for men include
that
you cheer her on during difficult times, and don't forget to tell her you believe in her. She
supports you by taking care of the kids at night while you go back to school.
4. A Sense of Being Understood
Being seen and being known is the biggest gift you can give someone. Actually hearing
them and
acknowledging that you've heard them is very powerful. The key relationship issue is
acceptance of who we are is what we all strive for.
5. Being Appreciative
The ability to recognize when someone has gone out of your way or done something nice
for you is a lost art. Just saying these simple words, "I appreciate what you have done"
just makes someone's day. One can never express too much appreciation! This is also
important dating advice for women.
6. Ability to be Intimate
Being willing to show your true self to another does take guts and trust. Making yourself
vulnerable
to another is not an everyday occurrence. Allowing someone to get to know you and love
you just the way you are, for better or worse is not for the faint-hearted.
7. Respectful
Being able to remain respectful of another although you may not agree with the person
does take a lot of class. It's even harder to treat someone with respect when you are
under stress. Always treat each other like delicate China where you can break your
strong bond with the slip of a hurtful tongue. Nasty remarks and put downs are damaging
to any relationship.
8. Open and willing to work on enhancing the relationship
Open and honest communication is the key to any relationship. As part of a couple, you
need to be willing to listen to constructive comments and requests from your partner. It's
important to hear your partner's side and visa versa. If you reach a deadlock without any
viable solutions, be willing to seek help from an impartial third party to resolve major
relationship issues.
9. Trustworthy
Trust is built over time and many positive encounters with someone. Does this person
follow up when he/she says they will? Is this someone you have found you can count on?
Trust is the foundation of any relationship.
10. Thinks and acts in a "we" manner, not a "me" manner
Does your potential partner think of how his or her actions will affect you? Are your
thoughts and feelings taken into consideration? Is there a goal of compromise for the
sake of the relationship? A relationship cannot survive on "me" alone!
These are the 10 qualities you would want to look for in a Motivated to Marry™ mate. Only
you know which qualities are more important to you and must be present in a person to
be happy.
Good luck with your search. He or she is out there waiting for you!
About the author:
Amy Schoen, MBA, CPCC, certified professional life coach and dating-relationship expert,
helps singles to attract the right romantic relationship into their lives, is the author of
"Motivated to Marry™-Now There is a Better Method for Dating and Relationships!" and
speaks nationally to groups on dating and relationships. For dating tips for men and
women, subscribe to her monthly ezine and teleclasses at:
http://www.heartmindconnection.com
someone you would want to marry have? As human beings, we all respond to certain
gestures and
behaviors positively. This dating advice for women and men is to describe which
qualities you need to have on your radar screen when you are searching for a partner
with whom you can have long term bliss. Keep in mind the following relationship issues
as you evaluate someone as a Motivated to Marry™ Partner.
1. Offers you genuine friendship
Everyone wants someone who can be their best friend through thick and thin. We want
someone with whom we can share our deepest thoughts as well as with whom we can
have fun with.
2. Kind and Compassionate
What kind of heart does he or she have? Does he take in stray animals or does she
volunteer to
help the sick? And how forgiving is his or her nature? Is she kind to you and empathize
with you when you've had a bad day?
3. Encouraging and Supportive
Our hope is that our partner becomes our greatest fan. Some dating tips for men include
that
you cheer her on during difficult times, and don't forget to tell her you believe in her. She
supports you by taking care of the kids at night while you go back to school.
4. A Sense of Being Understood
Being seen and being known is the biggest gift you can give someone. Actually hearing
them and
acknowledging that you've heard them is very powerful. The key relationship issue is
acceptance of who we are is what we all strive for.
5. Being Appreciative
The ability to recognize when someone has gone out of your way or done something nice
for you is a lost art. Just saying these simple words, "I appreciate what you have done"
just makes someone's day. One can never express too much appreciation! This is also
important dating advice for women.
6. Ability to be Intimate
Being willing to show your true self to another does take guts and trust. Making yourself
vulnerable
to another is not an everyday occurrence. Allowing someone to get to know you and love
you just the way you are, for better or worse is not for the faint-hearted.
7. Respectful
Being able to remain respectful of another although you may not agree with the person
does take a lot of class. It's even harder to treat someone with respect when you are
under stress. Always treat each other like delicate China where you can break your
strong bond with the slip of a hurtful tongue. Nasty remarks and put downs are damaging
to any relationship.
8. Open and willing to work on enhancing the relationship
Open and honest communication is the key to any relationship. As part of a couple, you
need to be willing to listen to constructive comments and requests from your partner. It's
important to hear your partner's side and visa versa. If you reach a deadlock without any
viable solutions, be willing to seek help from an impartial third party to resolve major
relationship issues.
9. Trustworthy
Trust is built over time and many positive encounters with someone. Does this person
follow up when he/she says they will? Is this someone you have found you can count on?
Trust is the foundation of any relationship.
10. Thinks and acts in a "we" manner, not a "me" manner
Does your potential partner think of how his or her actions will affect you? Are your
thoughts and feelings taken into consideration? Is there a goal of compromise for the
sake of the relationship? A relationship cannot survive on "me" alone!
These are the 10 qualities you would want to look for in a Motivated to Marry™ mate. Only
you know which qualities are more important to you and must be present in a person to
be happy.
Good luck with your search. He or she is out there waiting for you!
About the author:
Amy Schoen, MBA, CPCC, certified professional life coach and dating-relationship expert,
helps singles to attract the right romantic relationship into their lives, is the author of
"Motivated to Marry™-Now There is a Better Method for Dating and Relationships!" and
speaks nationally to groups on dating and relationships. For dating tips for men and
women, subscribe to her monthly ezine and teleclasses at:
http://www.heartmindconnection.com
Title - Truth or Dare: How Honest Should You Be In Your Romantic Relationship?
Author: Dr. Grace Cornish Livingstone
Author: Dr. Grace Cornish Livingstone
To tell or not to tell...Can you afford to be really honest in your relationship?
Have you ever wondered if "honesty is really the best policy?" At some point, couples in every
romantic relationship have "the talk" where they spill the beans on their pasts. It's a chance to come
clean and get all the skeletons out of the closet. But how much information is truly necessary? How
much truth is too much? For instance does a woman have to be completely honest about every
romantic relationship she's been in?
There is a yes and no answer to this issue. Yes, it can be good to honestly share about the major
relationships of your past (usually three to five is average). It can help you to understand each other
more by discussing and analyzing past relationships, like: what brought you together with past
loves, what caused the separations, and anything in between that you feel will not threaten your
current relationship in any way. This will show your mate that you trust him enough to be upfront
with him and that you no longer carry feelings for those you were involved with before him. You
could, and should also talk candidly with your mate about any hurtful relationship experiences you
may have had--abuse, rape, or childhood molestation. Don't hide any of this from him. It wasn't your
fault that someone did such an awful thing to you. Any decent mate will understand and will want to
protect you from ever getting hurt again, and will in fact draw him closer to you.
However, what is sure to tear your romantic relationship apart is if you're not over an ex. The
question is, should you admit this to your man? Absolutely, not! It would be downright hurtful. What
you should do is figure out why you're still carrying feelings for someone who has left. Let it go and
move on. Put your emotions into your current relationship and withdraw your invested emotional
energy from the one who is now yesterday's history.
Another definite no for discussion is if you've had more than ten lovers in the past. For instance, if
you were once a promiscuous woman, who has had enough male lovers to place one in each of
the fifty States, leave that information out of your current relationship. I've counseled enough
couples to professionally tell you that no matter how much the man may say he's open to your past,
he wants to feel as if he's the first to have you. Even though he knows that you were not a virgin
when he met you, he wants to know that you're his personal and private "rejuvenated or born-again
virgin." No man wants to know that his prize (you) have been sampled by an extended list of "Tom,
Dick, Harry, Larry, and Barry."
It is ancient Biblical wisdom, that there is a time and a season for everything: "a time to speak and
a time to withhold from speaking." Honesty is truly the best policy, but be smart with your heart. To
sum it up in a nutshell, "there's a time for the past to be told, and a time for you to withhold."
About the Author
Dr. Grace Cornish Livingstone, on-air staff psychologist for the former Queen Latifah TV show, is
one of America's foremost relationship consultants and an award-winning, bestselling author of
ten popular books. For Dr. Grace's relationship books and CDs visit www.myhealthylove.com-
Have you ever wondered if "honesty is really the best policy?" At some point, couples in every
romantic relationship have "the talk" where they spill the beans on their pasts. It's a chance to come
clean and get all the skeletons out of the closet. But how much information is truly necessary? How
much truth is too much? For instance does a woman have to be completely honest about every
romantic relationship she's been in?
There is a yes and no answer to this issue. Yes, it can be good to honestly share about the major
relationships of your past (usually three to five is average). It can help you to understand each other
more by discussing and analyzing past relationships, like: what brought you together with past
loves, what caused the separations, and anything in between that you feel will not threaten your
current relationship in any way. This will show your mate that you trust him enough to be upfront
with him and that you no longer carry feelings for those you were involved with before him. You
could, and should also talk candidly with your mate about any hurtful relationship experiences you
may have had--abuse, rape, or childhood molestation. Don't hide any of this from him. It wasn't your
fault that someone did such an awful thing to you. Any decent mate will understand and will want to
protect you from ever getting hurt again, and will in fact draw him closer to you.
However, what is sure to tear your romantic relationship apart is if you're not over an ex. The
question is, should you admit this to your man? Absolutely, not! It would be downright hurtful. What
you should do is figure out why you're still carrying feelings for someone who has left. Let it go and
move on. Put your emotions into your current relationship and withdraw your invested emotional
energy from the one who is now yesterday's history.
Another definite no for discussion is if you've had more than ten lovers in the past. For instance, if
you were once a promiscuous woman, who has had enough male lovers to place one in each of
the fifty States, leave that information out of your current relationship. I've counseled enough
couples to professionally tell you that no matter how much the man may say he's open to your past,
he wants to feel as if he's the first to have you. Even though he knows that you were not a virgin
when he met you, he wants to know that you're his personal and private "rejuvenated or born-again
virgin." No man wants to know that his prize (you) have been sampled by an extended list of "Tom,
Dick, Harry, Larry, and Barry."
It is ancient Biblical wisdom, that there is a time and a season for everything: "a time to speak and
a time to withhold from speaking." Honesty is truly the best policy, but be smart with your heart. To
sum it up in a nutshell, "there's a time for the past to be told, and a time for you to withhold."
About the Author
Dr. Grace Cornish Livingstone, on-air staff psychologist for the former Queen Latifah TV show, is
one of America's foremost relationship consultants and an award-winning, bestselling author of
ten popular books. For Dr. Grace's relationship books and CDs visit www.myhealthylove.com-
Top Three Reasons Why it is Good to Be Into Dating, Love Or Marriage
By Andy Kong
By Andy Kong
This article touches on the top three reasons why it is good to be into dating, love or
marriage. It does not serve to denounce the choice of singlehood by some who would
rather choose singlehood as their way of life, as everyone has his or her right of choice,
be it singlehood or otherwise. Choosing to remain single does have its own good
legitimate reasons as well, and I respect the choice of every individual.
The Power of Love
When we are in love, there is this something that is hard to explain, stirring in our heart,
that adds strength, courage, excitement, thrill, joy, confidence, hope and many other
positive emotions to our life. Anyone who has ever fallen in love will understand what I
mean. These feelings differ from those feelings of our love that we have for our parents,
siblings, relatives or friends. Yes, there is no doubt we can experience love for and
closeness with them, but this love is different from and cannot be exchanged with the
love we feel for and the intimacy we share with our life partner. This kind of love we have
for each other adds a sprightly spring in our step, spurring us on to start each day full of
exciting anticipation.
A Burden Shared Is Half the Burden, A Joy Shared Is Twice the Joy
Although our life partner may not be able to help us solve our every problem when it
arises, the burden is halved because we have him or her to share our problem with. Just
by lending us a listening ear, our partner has already lightened our burden because our
pent-up frustration has found a release. On the other hand, it adds to our joy when we
share our joy with our beloved partner, rather than keeping the joy to ourselves.
Bidding Farewell to Loneliness
We can kiss loneliness goodbye when we have a life partner. Granted, even if we do not
have a life partner, we can still leave loneliness behind by being in the company of our
friends, siblings, parents or relatives but this is only for a while. Loneliness returns as
soon as our friends, siblings, parents or relatives depart to go on with their own lives.
After all, unlike our life partner who is with us even into our sleeping hours, these people
are not able to do that, as they have their own lives to lead.
This article was originally published on EzineArticles.com at
http://ezinearticles.com/?id=1971374
marriage. It does not serve to denounce the choice of singlehood by some who would
rather choose singlehood as their way of life, as everyone has his or her right of choice,
be it singlehood or otherwise. Choosing to remain single does have its own good
legitimate reasons as well, and I respect the choice of every individual.
The Power of Love
When we are in love, there is this something that is hard to explain, stirring in our heart,
that adds strength, courage, excitement, thrill, joy, confidence, hope and many other
positive emotions to our life. Anyone who has ever fallen in love will understand what I
mean. These feelings differ from those feelings of our love that we have for our parents,
siblings, relatives or friends. Yes, there is no doubt we can experience love for and
closeness with them, but this love is different from and cannot be exchanged with the
love we feel for and the intimacy we share with our life partner. This kind of love we have
for each other adds a sprightly spring in our step, spurring us on to start each day full of
exciting anticipation.
A Burden Shared Is Half the Burden, A Joy Shared Is Twice the Joy
Although our life partner may not be able to help us solve our every problem when it
arises, the burden is halved because we have him or her to share our problem with. Just
by lending us a listening ear, our partner has already lightened our burden because our
pent-up frustration has found a release. On the other hand, it adds to our joy when we
share our joy with our beloved partner, rather than keeping the joy to ourselves.
Bidding Farewell to Loneliness
We can kiss loneliness goodbye when we have a life partner. Granted, even if we do not
have a life partner, we can still leave loneliness behind by being in the company of our
friends, siblings, parents or relatives but this is only for a while. Loneliness returns as
soon as our friends, siblings, parents or relatives depart to go on with their own lives.
After all, unlike our life partner who is with us even into our sleeping hours, these people
are not able to do that, as they have their own lives to lead.
This article was originally published on EzineArticles.com at
http://ezinearticles.com/?id=1971374
Note: In compliance with the guidelines given by the FTC (Federal Trade Commission)
on its website (http://www.ftc.gov), the webmaster of this site hereby discloses that he
has received or will receive compensation in some form when products and/or services
featured herein are purchased. The results obtained by purchasers will vary from
purchaser to purchaser. The inclusion of any products and/or services on this website is
by no means meant to be taken as an indication that the webmaster of this site endorses
them or is giving testimonial(s) about them.
on its website (http://www.ftc.gov), the webmaster of this site hereby discloses that he
has received or will receive compensation in some form when products and/or services
featured herein are purchased. The results obtained by purchasers will vary from
purchaser to purchaser. The inclusion of any products and/or services on this website is
by no means meant to be taken as an indication that the webmaster of this site endorses
them or is giving testimonial(s) about them.
More Articles by Andy Kong:
Success in Marriage - Love
Success in Marriage - Communication
Top Three Advantages of Being Single and
Top Three Advantages of Being Married
Success in Marriage - Love
Success in Marriage - Communication
Top Three Advantages of Being Single and
Top Three Advantages of Being Married
