Insights
Dating, Love & Marriage
Since 2009
Since 2009
Here, on this page, I'd like to share with you some bits and pieces of insight I've gathered from the school of life
that are useful or relevant to one in the aspects of dating, love and marriage.
Unconditional Love
When we love someone, we'll love her/him unconditionally; we'll love her/him despite all her/his flaws. We'll
accept her/him as she/he is.
A Conversation with a Sunday School Teacher
Some time ago, I had a conversation with a female friend, Joan. Joan's a Sunday school teacher.
The topic of our conversation was, women in general are more emotional than men. When a problem arises, a
man tends to think of or find a solution to the problem, while a woman tends to talk about the problem.
Sometimes, in talking about the problem, the problem simply 'disappears' for the woman. She seems to have
talked herself out of the problem.
Therefore, if a man wants to help a woman solve a problem, he should give her a listening ear, as the problem
may simply 'disappear' after she's poured out her emotions in regard to the problem.
However, this may not always be the case, as some problems genuinely need a solution, regardless of the
gender of the one who's facing the problem. In such a situation, the man who's helping the woman to solve the
problem will need not only to give her a listening ear, but also to help her find a solution to the problem. I like the
way Joan put it. She said in such a situation, the man will have to 'journey her to a solution'. What she meant was
the man will have to talk over (and listen to) her problem, and in the process (journey), leads her to the solution.
Joan also pointed out that there are some women who are focused in finding a solution rather than being
emotional about it when a problem arises, despite their gender. One possible explanation for this difference is
that these women are engineers by training, so being engineers, they'll naturally seek a solution first when a
problem arises.
Words of Wisdom from a Pastor
There'll be quarrels in a marriage. What matters is to manage the quarrels and not to let them result in the
couple punching each other.
Words of Wisdom from a Church Elder
When you're married, there'll be things you once used to do that you no longer do now, and things you weren't in
the habit of doing that you're doing so now.
Great or Small, Famous or Unknown, Everyone Needs Love
Even the famous celebrity, Jolin Tsai Yi Ling, who's considered Taiwan's answer to Britney Spears and who's
the original singer of Love Love Love, is not spared the natural universal need for love. Quite rightly so; maybe
Jolin Tsai's need for love is three times that of the average person's, considering that the word 'love' appears
thrice in the title of her famous song Love Love Love. In a press conference in Beijing held on the same day Yi
Ling was promoting her forthcoming 28 May 2011's concert, Choi Yee Lam (Tsai Yi Ling's name in Cantonese)
revealed that she'll probably marry before she turns 40. Yi Ling was born on 15 September 1980.
(Source: http://entertainment.xin.msn.com/en/celebrity/buzz/asia/article.aspx?cp-documentid=4790550)
In a similar vein, another famous celebrity, 32-year-old Zhang Zi Yi (born on 9 February 1979), who starred in the
box-office hit, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, is not spared the natural universal need for love too. It was
reported recently (3 May 2011) that Zi Yi said 'she still wants love' after 'several failed relationships'.
(Source: http://sg.news.yahoo.com/no-hurry-marry-210400261.html)
To international star, 40-year-old Christy Chung (born on 19 September 1970), love is very important.
(Source: http://entertainment.xin.msn.com/en/celebrity/buzz/asia/article.aspx?cp-documentid=4852585)
Asian Bite website reports that 37-year-old Japanese icon, Takeshi Kaneshiro (born on 11 October 1973), who
stars in the film Wu Xia, said he's 'out seeking for love'.
(Source: http://sg.news.yahoo.com/takeshi-single-mingle-210100700.html)
It was reported on 23 June 2011 that Jay Chou said 'he was envious of Karen Mok's happiness' on hearing of
her planned marriage that will take place at year's end. Zhou Jie Lun (Jay Chou's name in Chinese) also said
'he has to find a partner soon' and hopes to get married in three years' time.
(Source: http://sg.news.yahoo.com/jay-chou-settle-down-3-years-time-210600008.html)
Celebrity singer Gillian Chung, who is one-half of Cantopop girl group Twins, wishes to get married before she
reaches 40.
(Source: http://sg.entertainment.yahoo.com/news/gillian-chung-goes-online-love-060900596.html)
Like Gillian, Taiwan's Jolin Tsai hopes to marry before 40. She also wishes to have two children; a son and a
daughter.
(Source: http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/entertainment/view/1151377/1/.html)
Learning Magic Tricks Helps One in Courting Girls
According to the famous Taiwanese singer Jay Chou and the famous magician Louis Liu, one can use magic
as a bridge for communication, and that helps a great deal when one is courting girls. For details, click on the
following link --
(Source: http://entertainment.xin.msn.com/en/celebrity/buzz/asia/article.aspx?cp-documentid=5098863)
Insights from Dr Gary Chapman (Author of The 5 Love Languages)
The desire for romantic love in marriage is deeply rooted in our psychological makeup.
Psychologists have concluded that the need to feel loved is a primary human emotional need.
When your spouse’s emotional love tank is full and he feels secure in your love, the whole world looks
bright and your spouse will move out to reach his highest potential in life.
The object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you
love.
The manner in which we speak is exceedingly important. An ancient sage once said, “A soft answer turns
away anger.” When your spouse is angry and upset and lashing out with words of heat, if you choose to be
loving, you will not reciprocate with additional heat but with a soft voice.
It isn’t enough to just be in the same room with someone. A key ingredient in giving your spouse quality
time is giving them focused attention, especially in this era of many distractions.
Some husbands and wives think they are spending time together when, in reality, they are only living in
close proximity.
Recent research has indicated that the average individual listens for only seventeen seconds before
interrupting.
One of the by-products of quality activities is that they provide a memory bank from which to draw in the years
ahead.
By acts of service, I mean doing things you know your spouse would like you to do. You seek to please her
by serving her, to express your love for her by doing things for her.
Love is something you do for someone else, not something you do for yourself.
We need not agree on everything, but we must find a way to handle our differences so that they do not
become divisive.
Insight from Hannah Quinlivan (Model)
Valentines' [day] isn't special, but love makes it special.
(Source: http://sg.news.yahoo.com/jay-chou-vacation-rumoured-girlfriend-061000761.html)
that are useful or relevant to one in the aspects of dating, love and marriage.
Unconditional Love
When we love someone, we'll love her/him unconditionally; we'll love her/him despite all her/his flaws. We'll
accept her/him as she/he is.
A Conversation with a Sunday School Teacher
Some time ago, I had a conversation with a female friend, Joan. Joan's a Sunday school teacher.
The topic of our conversation was, women in general are more emotional than men. When a problem arises, a
man tends to think of or find a solution to the problem, while a woman tends to talk about the problem.
Sometimes, in talking about the problem, the problem simply 'disappears' for the woman. She seems to have
talked herself out of the problem.
Therefore, if a man wants to help a woman solve a problem, he should give her a listening ear, as the problem
may simply 'disappear' after she's poured out her emotions in regard to the problem.
However, this may not always be the case, as some problems genuinely need a solution, regardless of the
gender of the one who's facing the problem. In such a situation, the man who's helping the woman to solve the
problem will need not only to give her a listening ear, but also to help her find a solution to the problem. I like the
way Joan put it. She said in such a situation, the man will have to 'journey her to a solution'. What she meant was
the man will have to talk over (and listen to) her problem, and in the process (journey), leads her to the solution.
Joan also pointed out that there are some women who are focused in finding a solution rather than being
emotional about it when a problem arises, despite their gender. One possible explanation for this difference is
that these women are engineers by training, so being engineers, they'll naturally seek a solution first when a
problem arises.
Words of Wisdom from a Pastor
There'll be quarrels in a marriage. What matters is to manage the quarrels and not to let them result in the
couple punching each other.
Words of Wisdom from a Church Elder
When you're married, there'll be things you once used to do that you no longer do now, and things you weren't in
the habit of doing that you're doing so now.
Great or Small, Famous or Unknown, Everyone Needs Love
Even the famous celebrity, Jolin Tsai Yi Ling, who's considered Taiwan's answer to Britney Spears and who's
the original singer of Love Love Love, is not spared the natural universal need for love. Quite rightly so; maybe
Jolin Tsai's need for love is three times that of the average person's, considering that the word 'love' appears
thrice in the title of her famous song Love Love Love. In a press conference in Beijing held on the same day Yi
Ling was promoting her forthcoming 28 May 2011's concert, Choi Yee Lam (Tsai Yi Ling's name in Cantonese)
revealed that she'll probably marry before she turns 40. Yi Ling was born on 15 September 1980.
(Source: http://entertainment.xin.msn.com/en/celebrity/buzz/asia/article.aspx?cp-documentid=4790550)
In a similar vein, another famous celebrity, 32-year-old Zhang Zi Yi (born on 9 February 1979), who starred in the
box-office hit, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, is not spared the natural universal need for love too. It was
reported recently (3 May 2011) that Zi Yi said 'she still wants love' after 'several failed relationships'.
(Source: http://sg.news.yahoo.com/no-hurry-marry-210400261.html)
To international star, 40-year-old Christy Chung (born on 19 September 1970), love is very important.
(Source: http://entertainment.xin.msn.com/en/celebrity/buzz/asia/article.aspx?cp-documentid=4852585)
Asian Bite website reports that 37-year-old Japanese icon, Takeshi Kaneshiro (born on 11 October 1973), who
stars in the film Wu Xia, said he's 'out seeking for love'.
(Source: http://sg.news.yahoo.com/takeshi-single-mingle-210100700.html)
It was reported on 23 June 2011 that Jay Chou said 'he was envious of Karen Mok's happiness' on hearing of
her planned marriage that will take place at year's end. Zhou Jie Lun (Jay Chou's name in Chinese) also said
'he has to find a partner soon' and hopes to get married in three years' time.
(Source: http://sg.news.yahoo.com/jay-chou-settle-down-3-years-time-210600008.html)
Celebrity singer Gillian Chung, who is one-half of Cantopop girl group Twins, wishes to get married before she
reaches 40.
(Source: http://sg.entertainment.yahoo.com/news/gillian-chung-goes-online-love-060900596.html)
Like Gillian, Taiwan's Jolin Tsai hopes to marry before 40. She also wishes to have two children; a son and a
daughter.
(Source: http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/entertainment/view/1151377/1/.html)
Learning Magic Tricks Helps One in Courting Girls
According to the famous Taiwanese singer Jay Chou and the famous magician Louis Liu, one can use magic
as a bridge for communication, and that helps a great deal when one is courting girls. For details, click on the
following link --
(Source: http://entertainment.xin.msn.com/en/celebrity/buzz/asia/article.aspx?cp-documentid=5098863)
Insights from Dr Gary Chapman (Author of The 5 Love Languages)
The desire for romantic love in marriage is deeply rooted in our psychological makeup.
Psychologists have concluded that the need to feel loved is a primary human emotional need.
When your spouse’s emotional love tank is full and he feels secure in your love, the whole world looks
bright and your spouse will move out to reach his highest potential in life.
The object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you
love.
The manner in which we speak is exceedingly important. An ancient sage once said, “A soft answer turns
away anger.” When your spouse is angry and upset and lashing out with words of heat, if you choose to be
loving, you will not reciprocate with additional heat but with a soft voice.
It isn’t enough to just be in the same room with someone. A key ingredient in giving your spouse quality
time is giving them focused attention, especially in this era of many distractions.
Some husbands and wives think they are spending time together when, in reality, they are only living in
close proximity.
Recent research has indicated that the average individual listens for only seventeen seconds before
interrupting.
One of the by-products of quality activities is that they provide a memory bank from which to draw in the years
ahead.
By acts of service, I mean doing things you know your spouse would like you to do. You seek to please her
by serving her, to express your love for her by doing things for her.
Love is something you do for someone else, not something you do for yourself.
We need not agree on everything, but we must find a way to handle our differences so that they do not
become divisive.
Insight from Hannah Quinlivan (Model)
Valentines' [day] isn't special, but love makes it special.
(Source: http://sg.news.yahoo.com/jay-chou-vacation-rumoured-girlfriend-061000761.html)
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